modern day tolkien elves
modern day elves getting away sleeping in the classroom with their eyes open
modern day elves straightening each other hair
modern day elves wearing flip flops in the snow
modern day elves shooting with compound bows
just modern day elves
"Jeffrey what do your elven eyes see"
"the Roy Roger’s down the street is totally still open, and they’re putting some burgers on the grill"
The next person who makes a joke about my pole dancing and calls me a stripper, I’m going to show them this photo and say, “You may or may not take me seriously, but just know that I can probably crush your tiny little skull with my thigh muscles.”
There’s nothing I don’t love about this.
"According to the FBI, there have been 129 confirmed white Christian terrorists in the last 20 years. That includes Timothy McVae, the uni-bomber, the Atlanta Olympics bomber and dozens of family planning centers and abortion clinics. Muslims? 19. Which would make white people the most likely demographic to commit a terrorist attack. So watch your mouth before you call me a terrorist or I’ll knock your fucking teeth out.”
if you go to hell for being bad why wouldn’t satan reward you for it why does he make you suffer wtf id be like hell yeah motherfucker you my nigga lets party
i started to laugh and then i realized that this is actually a really valid question
Alternatively, if Satan punishes sinners, why isn’t he considered good?
If the Pope dies, is he being promoted or fired?
We’re becoming self aware
those nerds in high school who run like this
in my middle school there was a boy who wanted to be called Sasuke Uchiha and he wore a Sasuke cosplay to school everyday and one day he did this run down the stairs and broke his arm and apparently he told the principle it was the ‘Naruto run’ and then we were all banned from wearing Naruto headbands and doing this run and Naruto was put down as gang activity at our school
“From the time it is born, a flame burns at the tip of its tail. Its life would end if the flame were to go out.”
what if the litwick tried to revive the charmander by reigniting its tail but the charmander ended up as a ghost/fire type with struggle as its only move
Why you gotta make me sad?
So this hot substitute logged into netflix and I wrote down the email with which he did it and used a service (it cost like $2) to find all other accounts connected to that email and I found his (private) twitter so I made a fake twitter of a hot girl and added a bunch of tweets over the course of a month to make it look legit and then I requested to follow him and he let me and he is the most goddamn boring person in the world
you need to be arrested